Change is inevitable. Growth is optional.

I did not post anything in 2022. The beginning of the year was great, but towards the end, it was a nightmare. I lost so many things and so many people. Being tested over and over again, things were taken away from me until I finally broke down and was defeated. Well, it changes who I am forever.  It is already halfway through 2023. I'm now fine with being ignored and invisible, rather than being hurt, disappointed, and betrayed over and over again. Maybe this is also a form of self-love. Idk. I don't want to try anymore.

"Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. 

Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."

 — Jalaluddin Mevlana Rumi

 

MyCSR!個人CSRが やった！

Although I enjoy my weekend routine evening walk, the garbage along the roadside is really sore to the eyes! So disappointed with Batu Gajah folks. Used face mask, water bottle, cigarette butt, just to name a few…😩A blogger friend of mine currently living in Kagawa posted about his rubbish collecting activity along the beach every week and it inspired me so much. So finally it’s ‘D-DAY!! 😁 I did it!! It’s not easy doing it alone I tell ya. Should have brought a bigger plastic bag though, but there’s always next time. 

やっと、初めての個人CSRがやった！恥ずかしいだけど、満足です。では、これからも頑張ります。よし。

My Executive Master in Business Administration Journey

Aroha mai, aroha atu..

    (May love come towards us, may love flow from us)

Coming soon....

SLOW DANCING IN THE DARK - Cover by Sion Jung (Joji)

Brilliant! I'm currently obsessed with this cover by a Korean-German dude. On repeat while I'm working my butt off my MBA assignments.

CMCO resumes until 20 Dec? WFH or Work from HOTEL?!

Stressed from working from home aka your bedroom? Grab the Work-From-Hotel Deals in Ipoh! New experience and worth the money!

Other Work-From-Hotel deals in Ipoh: 1. Travelodge Ipoh - RM22 (no lunch) 2. Mu Hotel - RM25 (no lunch) 3. Symphony Suites - RM32 4. Casuarina Meru - RM35

This too, shall pass..

I came back to this sanctuary of mine with mixed feelings. I've always wanted this blog to be a cheerful & silly space, a bed of roses, a breath of fresh air, a medium of escapism, a place where anyone (or myself at least) to drop by when the days are bad. I've tried so hard to arrange my words over and over in advance, way in advance it took me weeks, months, and almost a year, yet I can't seem to narrate even a simple beautiful sentence, when my heart is so much in aching, hurting, and I'm still on a long journey to heal. But how do you really move on from a betrayal of a friend? To be Sabr (patience) and Redha (to accept whole-heartedly) is still a struggle for me. But life experiences, bad things happen, Don’t Let It Stop You From Living! I am far too precious & important for this world. And there are lots of people who needs me and values me, be it a stranger just passing by. Allah has a BIG BIG plan for me. Still a long way to go, but I'm heading there, to a peaceful and contented state of mind. I'm on my way. May Allah Ease.

Morning at Lake Wakatipu, New Zealand. 2017.

Japan Life : Sending Food to Japan by post

Hello, I'm back! Just a quick post. My colleagues are moving to Japan soon, so I've prepared this simple list for them and I'm sharing it here too. I know it's not the most comprehensive or perfect list, but I hope it can benefit any one of you who stumble of this blog as well :)

 

Sending Food to Japan by post?
When it comes to sending food items abroad via courier, the rules are relatively simple: You cannot send any food items that are classed as perishables (things that can go off or that can spoil during transit). This is the most important rule of all, and as long as you stick to this rule, you will be just fine.

 What Store Bought Food Can be shipped?
 1. Foods must be in the original manufacturers packaging.
 2. Food packaging must be sealed and not tampered with in any way.
 3. Food label must list all ingredients.
 4. Foods must have a shelf life of longer than 6 months from the date of shipping.
 5. All foods that have a shelf life of less than 6 months will be classed as perishables, and cannot be sent via courier, even if store bought.

 How to Ship Food Items
 1. Don’t send food items that must be kept in a temperature controlled environment in transit (refrigerated, frozen or chilled) as they will spoil by the time they reach their destination.
2. Don’t expect your food parcel to be kept ‘this way up’ during transit.
3. Don’t send foods that are restricted for import into the destination country.
4. Always ensure your food items have a label clearly displaying all the ingredients and the ‘use by date’ because customs authorities may check these upon import.
5. Always package your food items so that they can withstand the parcel being placed upside down during transit, and always wrap individual items separately inside your parcel for optimum protection.
6. Always check the import restrictions in the country you are shipping to, to avoid sending foods that are prohibited at the destination.

My notes (based on my past experiences)

1. Basically, ALL TYPE OF DRY food is OK to post @ courier to Japan.
2. Kicap/Sos/Jem : better choose the plastic bottle type. It’s quite risky to post those is glass bottle but if you wrap them properly with bubble sheet it should be OK.
3. Hazardous item, flammable – NOT OK
4. Some cases of posting MILO drink is NOT OK. Confiscated by Custom Japan, I'm not sure why.
5. Medicine from Malaysia – Panadol, balm, cough syrup, etc is OK for personal use. (From my personal experience, please bring some with you because Japan Hospital medicine is generally mild compared to Malaysia dosage)

6. Homemade biscuits, cakes, kerepek, etc – Pack them properly in container & seal them. If you put label it will be better too.
7. List out clearly what you put inside each boxes in the post office declaration form.

8. Different country, different rules. Check with your local post office too.
9. More useful forum website:

 https://www.japan-guide.com/forum/quedisplay.html 

How to respond to negative people? Hit em' up style!

Are you happy?

This question keeps hanging on my mind lately. And honestly, I couldn't answer it firmly. Am I happy? Well, I used to be easily contented and happy with whatever God has given to me. I'm not that ambitious, having said that I will do my best come rain or shine and I'll work my butt off when it comes to my work. But if the end result is not on my side, I'm still contented. Of course, I'll be sad for a while, but I won't dwell too much on it. God has other plans for me, indeed :).

Lately, I found myself sulking for the smallest things. Always stressing, overthinking, and always negative. To be fair, I received unfair treatment and was taken for granted by my managers all the time. The reason is I cannot, and will not 'kipas their axx', ever. Work was hectic as hell but my motivation level is ZERO. Lately, I feel everything is against me.

Mr. Stranger pointed this over and over to me "You give people the power to control your emotion, that's why you are always emotional". "I am NOT, you Mr. Smarty axx. They are mean to me!" Of course that would be my answer to him, always. But he's starting to see as if I'm using him as a punching bag, always having to deal with my mood. Which makes me so sad because I never meant to do that. I was hoping that he would sympathize with my situation but that's just not his thing. "You are a strong independent woman, you shouldn't ask for people to make you feel better." Ouch, that hurts.

The truth is, you can't really change how people want to treat you. Especially in an organization where office politics is harsh, and people always see you as a threat to them to get that job promotion, leading projects, etc. Some people are just plain ARSHOLE, JEALOUS, and CRUEL. How the hell are you going to change that? But what you can definitely do is change how you react to their negative treatment. Personally, I would avoid conflict as much as possible, I can't deal with drama. But I guess I can't keep running away from it. I took these "10-Ways" from a website called Power of Positivity. 

The next time people are being mean, shall we try it?

1. Don’t take things personally - don't lose your cool @ and don't let them win.
2. Do not rationalize their behavior -just think that they are stupid.
3. Let them hear you - once in a while, give them a piece of your mind. They'll shut up.
4. Be compassionate - err, no thanks. They are stupid. and jealous. 
5. Separate yourself if needed - walkaway, always my 1st choice
6. Smile - how about, a nasty sarcastic smile?
7. Be mature - give an intellectual answer. make them go gaga.
8. Do not judge or assume - be neutral? hahaha..we'll see.
9. Set positive boundaries - control what you can control
10. Maintain a realistic POV - As such, in the event that a negative person is trespassing and violating your positive frame of mind, it may be necessary to end ties. Love this!

Like Mr. Stranger always said to me, be very good at your job that people cannot live without you. But they must pay an equal price for what they asked for. Know when you should 'jual mahal' and they'll learn to beg instead of commanding. Haish...I have yet to learn this skill.

To my beautiful stranger

So it's that phase again,

Where nights feels too short,

And days seems too long.

But this time it feels different,
This time is an exception,
For you are too precious,
Peculiar and bodacious.

Thank you for choosing to stick around,
Though you couldn't promise for how long,
So when it's time for our goodbye,
Let there be no regret, but only smile.
 
To my beautiful stranger;
That awakens my shielded emotion,
That captures my wounded heart,

Lets celebrate this union.
Lets celebrate us,
Before we return back this borrowed moments.

(27/03/18 - from FS to FK)            

...and before I knew it, it ended..THE END.

Let's focus on bigger things!

I saw my Facebook reminder of my wonderful trip to Jeju Island last year, distracting me from my rough day abit. Got me thinking wow, there's so many wonderful, meaningful, exciting things in my bucket list that I've yet to complete! My travel journey has been dull lately. I went to Kyoto last month 100% for work-only purpose. So I'm going to Tokyo in Nov as a revenge for all the hardships that I've faced for the Kyoto business trip (I don't know who am I avenging actually). >"< Can't believe I've been to only 6% of the entire countries in the world so far! I thought I've travelled a lot, but I guess that's because I keep travelling to the same country over and over. Hahaha..Swiss and Italy has always been in my mind, and recently Morocco and Canada caught my interest too. But those countries are so far!! Huhuhu..I wish money grows on trees. And bosses have no rights to reject our annual leave application. That'll be good too. Let's plan! Or lets' dream!

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2017!!

Leaving SEOUL for JEJU..

Just a short but much needed trip with the usual suspects. 18/Aug/2016~26/Aug/2016. I bid farewell to my love. We were breathing the same hot summer air of Seoul city, yet I'm willing to let go this time. This time it felt so real, a bitter sweet farewell. Majimak Insak. Saranghe chagi..



SEOUL : We had the best time.

JEJU : I'll be alright.

The forbidden

SYDNEY & GOLD COAST

 

Just came back from a short trip to Australia and still having post-Aussie syndrome. Main objective? Okay, you got me. It was for Bigbang "MADE' in Sydney concert + sight seeing. Oh, and yes before Sydney I also attended the "MADE' in Malaysia concert. So much of big talk on retiring...(-_-)

Been neglecting my writing for a few months which made me pretty sad to see these empty space and lack of updates. My schedule was just too hectic. I'm either occupied with my weekly boot camp & weight loss regime (I just lost a few kg, still far from my target), work commitment or just falling flat on my bed of being too tired from all these regimes.

Australia has been very kind to me. Everything went well during this trip with 2 of my gal-pal. Not to mentioned the Bigbang boys, as always, was awesome too. Travelling really teaches me to be patient and rational (which I am still lacking of). I need to travel more, even though I hate the after effect of long flight, body pain and lack of sleep. The post Aussie trip is not yet over, but I'll try my best to get back to writing again, soon.



US - AT DARLING HARBOUR BRIDGE

Warming up and gearing up!

Good day and Assaalamualaikum to my readers (if there's any, LOL!)

It's been almost 4 months since I left Japan. Life in Perak is pretty mundane since I don't have much to do nor many friends left in my hometown. It's quite puzzling coz I don't have much friend in Japan either but my weekend was always busy! :) I didn't mind joining strangers doing activities or having a good day by myself, going to the cinema, shopping or even retreat at a resort! On the contrary, I can't do much by myself here coz it feels weird even to go for a jog by myself. I keep reminding myself, I must change the mode back to my Japan life. Talk about procrastination....

I'm going to write down what I did so far. At least I won't feel so bad of myself. LOL.
1) Finished unpacking 8 boxes of stuffs that I shipped from Japan. It took me 4 months! :(
2) Bought my new car after convincing the bank with my Japanese pay slip.  Teehee! :)
3) Bought a new mattress for my poor back. A freaking thick and expensive mattress.
4) Attended the 4th Being Me Muslimah Convention : Love, Aisya in Putrajaya. This time it's just me. No friends.
5) I've said Tokyo Dome in Dec'14 was my last one, but it happened that I went to see my boys again in KL after much persuasion from a friend. Oh! when will be my last..huhuhuhu..
6) Paid deposit for Europe Tour in Jan'15. Will be with 20 total strangers for 14 days. You go girl!!
7) Registered for 'Jom Kurus' weight loss program in this Sept with my colleague.
    Target : shed those excess kilos before my Europe trip and take gorgeous pics! #vain
8) Volunteered for my company's CSR activity : Science Project with school children. It was so much fun! :)
9)  Received an invitation as a guest contributor to write about halal in Japan from a travel and lifestyle blog Have Halal Will Travel (HHWT) based in Singapore. How cool is that! :D

There's a lot more to do and to achieve but being in a sluggish state that I am right now, I won't achieve much if I don't make a change fast. I was watching an Islamic TV programme while typing this entry. 2 of my favourite motivational speaker was on it. (Dr. Fadilla Grine and Prof. Madya Dr. Harlina Siraj). I'm gonna write some of their word of wisdom here and may it be a reminder for me in everything I do.

Be good emissaries for Islam. Be useful. Be a human being who can bring benefit to others.

Strive for the ultimate reward from Allah SWT in whatever you do rather than reward from human.

Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) said : "The believer is like rain, where ever he goes is goodness."


XOXO,
-Tim-

Good to be back! (^_^)

Pursuit of Happiness

If you ever feel down or distressed, remember this du`a’ (supplication):

 

اللَّهُمَّ إِنِّي أَعُوذُ بِكَ مِنْ الْهَمِّ وَالْحُزْنِ وَالْعَجْزِ وَالْكَسَلِ وَالْبُخْلِ وَالْجُبْنِ وَضَلَعِ الدَّيْنِ وَغَلَبَةِ الرِّجَالِ

Allahumma inni a’udhu bika minal-hammi wal-Ḥuzni wal-‘ajazi wal-kasli wal-bukhli wal-jubni wa ḍala’Īd-dayni wa ghalabatir-rijal.

O Allāh, I take refuge in You from anxiety and sorrow, weakness and laziness, miserliness and cowardice, the burden of debts and from being overpowered by men. [Bukhari]

Japan Life : Enquiry about working in Japan

Salam from Malaysia!!
Just came back a week ago, and my stuffs haven't arrived yet from Japan. Huhu!
I want to share this email that I received last month from Adam (bukan nama sebenar..hihi) who will be undergoing his Industrial Training in Kanagawa soon. He wanted to know some know-how for Muslim working in Japan, hopefully it can benefit you too!

On Saturday, March 14, 2015, fatimah shamsuddin <fatimah-shamsuddin@hotmail.com> wrote:

Waaalaikumsalam WBT.

Hello Adam. Sorry for my late reply, I was quite busy coz I'm going back to Malaysia soon.

I was so surprised but honoured to receive your email.I will try to answer your questions as per my experience though it might not be suitable with your situation. As you know, I lived in Kyoto so I am not familiar with Kanagawa area. But if you look at Japan map, Kanagawa is very near to Tokyo.^b^

So here it goes!

1. When I googled Kanagawa, it stated that it is the main manufacturer of pork - should I be bothered with it?

Err..I don't think you should worry too much...Maybe in Kanagawa, they have variety of pork menu compared to other places, but that's all. My advise is:

- When you want to buy food at the supermarket or 7-E (konbini), etc, make sure to check the label carefully. If there is kanji like  豚 (ぶた）,  ラード (lard), ショートニング　(shortening),  just don't buy it.

- If you are eating outside, ask the cook first..."Sumimasen, syuukyou no tame ni, o'niku, doubutsu abura, aruko-ru, o'nuki dekimasu ka?" (Because of  religious reason,  can you not add any meat, animal oil and alcohol?) If they say yes, then just read bismillah and makan..:D. The rest is tawakkal.

2. I am still able to have halal food, right? (I might get a personal room during my internship, so I might be able to cook my own meal)

Of course! I'm sure there'll be 1 or 2 halal groceries shop where you can buy frozen halal meat, etc. But if you can't find any, you can buy online from www.baticrom.com. Their office is in Tokyo. You can order from their website and they will deliver to your house in 1-2 days! My advise is, as soon as you settle down in Kanagawa, try to locate the nearest Muslim centre, masjid or muslim community as soon as possible. That will help you to adapt fast!

3. Is Japanese employees ok about us having to perform prayers while working? How do you usually perform solat during work? Can we perform jama' & qasar?

Did you informed your employer about the things that you need when you apply for the internship? Like solat, muslim friendly food, culture, etc..

If you haven't, please do so before you come to Japan! Before I came to Japan, I made a list of things that I will need, the do and don't as a Muslim, etc..So I never faced much problem at work. My lunch time is from 12pm-12.45pm. I normally eat until 12.30, and the balance 15min I will do my Zuhur prayer. My boss let me use the filing room to do my prayer. My advise is, set a fix time for your Zuhur prayer everyday (jgn tukar2..) so that your collegue will also be aware of it. We must show good example and we can't be as "suka hati" as in Malaysia where people can go for prayer time as they like. Then you can do your Asar after working hours. About jama' & qasar, I don't do it on a normal days, only when I'm on a long journey business trip/travelling. Sometimes, I also faced problems such as stuck in long meeting, couldn't find proper place for solat when I'm on the go, etc, etc..in this case I will do jamak, but not qasar bcoz it's not related to the distance (~90km). Sorry I can't explain much about this..it is better you read the explanation from an ustaz..like Dr. Maza, UAI, etc.

Have you heard about nomikai (飲み会）or drinking party?? In Japan, it is common for co-workers to go for drinkign alcohol after work. If you are going to one, tell them you can only drink non-alcoholic drink. Orenji jyusu kudasai! :D. I go to nomikai all the time because it is the nature of my work. At first, I hesitated to but a friend advises me during the nomikai, try to 'selit' about Islamic values. Example, why Islam forbid us to drink alcohol and eat pork, why Muslim have to pray 5 times a day, and any other things..Japanese people are really interested to know about Islam! So this is the chance for you to explain to them. :D  

4. My Japanese proficiency is weak (N5 passed, N4 failed), do I need to work on my Japanese language? Can I survive in the work environment with that level of proficiency? (Please be honest, so that I could prepare myself early! T^T)

I will be honest with you. There is a HUGE difference between laymen Japanese and bussinese Japanese (sonkeigo). I have only JLPT level N3, and it is NOT enough for me to survive in my line of work. I work in the Purchasing Department, so we deal with Japanese suppliers in JAPANESE. (-_-).   I would have packed my bag and balik kampung long time ago if I don't have the google translater with me 24-7. Huhuhu.

BUT! It depends on the nature of your job as well. Some of my friends don't even have JLPT, but they can managed bcoz they uses mainly English than Japanese (system engineer, overseas sales, etc). If you are in enginering, please try to learn the common terms, machinery terms, parts and material name in Japanese. I keep a small note book to jot down  when ever I don't understand a Japanese word. It helps me to memorize faster.

Last but not least, if you face any difficulty in Japan later, don't be shy and ask for help! You cannot survive being a loner..(though I like travelling alone..hihi.) And do enjoy Japan as well..It is a very beautiful & systematic country, there's alot of things we can learn from them.

 I wish you all the best!!　頑張ってください！

~Kak Tim~

Personal struggle

On some of my cold winter nights in Japan, I would just laid on my bed, thinking of the things that I have achieved so far, in my career and personal life. I think I have achieved quite a lot, though to other people it might seems small. And I am humbly admitting that I've lost a lot too.

There's too many to list out, but the most painful is that I have lost my old self. The one who used to have the will power to say NO to syaitan's whispers. I felt so helpless now. Every time I've sinned, I beg Allah for His forgiveness, but I didn't made an effort to change. I'm seeing people around me becoming better Muslims, which I really envy! They took a longer path than me, but I've failed to stay istiqamah (persistent) on that path. Why do I struggle so much?

 I want to run to ME again, to my 14 years-old self, whom once bravely told the choir teacher that she'll keep her headscarf on, no matter how awkward the choir team might look because of her.

It's cloudy here, in my heart. I'm scared it will turned to black. I want it to be white again, like the precious winter snow.

Japan Life : Winter Holiday in Japan 2014

This is my last winter holiday in Japan. I went travelling all around Japan with a friend from Malaysia. I had to brave the cold, the wicked snow, the high fever and non stopped runny nose for 1 whole week. I can say it was the worst holiday ever for me. There's not much of my photos because I looked half dead. Japan was a bit gloomy and snowy but beautiful, as always.



ODAIBA DRIVE CITY, TOKYO.



GUNDAM ROBOT

HAKONE.

 






BIWAKO VALLEY ROPEWAY



BIWAKO VALLEY SKI PARK





HARRY POTTER WORLD, USJ.








HARRY POTTER WORLD, USJ.




Snowy morning view from 88HIROSHIMA HOUSE.





PEACE MEMORIAL PARK, HIROSHIMA.




TOKYO SKY TREE




TOKYO SKY TREE VIEW

TAKESHITA SHOPPING STREET




OMOTESANDO HILLS SHOPPING STREET, TOKYO.






SHIBUYA CROSSINGS








AKIHABARA ELECTRONIC CITY



2014: BIGBANG JAPAN DOME TOUR X in OSAKA DOME D4

JAPAN DOME TOUR X!! So I finally went to their last day concert yesterday (141123). Initially I didn't really planned to go coz they don't have a new album yet, but so it happened that my JVIP friends have some extra ticket and they offered it to me. Pure luck. Kkkk. \(^_^)/ \(^_^)/

 

Phewww...It's been a long time!! (err..months actually). Wow...My body ached so much and I couldn't wake up this morning! I don't think I can endure a 3-hours standing and jumping to their songs anymore..ahjumma, keman juseyo!! (stop already aunty...) (-_-)(-_-)
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Takoyaki stall near Kyocera Dome. Spot the Bigbang's previous JDT at the back ^b^!

Here's my rough fan account. So many moments, but my memory failed me. Must be due to the band music was way tooooo loud! I couldn't think right. (-_-)

 

 

 

 

 

Update:

This might be my last Bigbang's concert in Japan. I'm still looking for tickets for JDT-X in Tokyo Dome on the 27-Dec, but it's already sold out like freaking SOLD-OUT!! Huhuhu..Oh well. It's been a wonderful experience, this past 2 years in Japan. I think it's gonna be fine.

 

Lately I find it really hard to keep on being a VIP. I see on twitter everyday VIP nowadays really like to compete with who took the best concert picture, who tweet the best fan account, the received most fan service, who purchased the most merchandize, and oh the Bigbang's junior fanwar (cough-winner-cough-iKon-cough-BOBBY-cough). I'm like, demm do we have to compete in everything even though we like the same thing/person??? It's freaking crazy! It takes away the joy of being a normal VIP like the good old time. The VIP who's always broke, who always shares link to free download mp3/concert DVD, the VIP who buys 2nd hand but timeless BB merchandize, yes that kind of VIP. I really missed those days where we share everything, not buy everything! Come on, think of it! It's a freaking money-consuming hobby ever! Their concert ticket itself is ridiculously more expensive than other Japan artist, their merchandize changes with every concert, you always have to buy something to get something (rehearsal pass, send-off pass, fan meeting, etc..). Let's not start with their  solo activities..OMG...   

 

I too, indulged in their concerts in Japan but not their merchandize. Well, I'm a working adult but how the hell did those young VIP could afford to go to every Bigbang concert all around the world?? And their merchandize. OMG. It's really expensive guys! Not to forget events like MAMA, GDA, well anything related to Bigbang. Imagine VIP who comes from not so well-off family, or a young adult struggling to make a living would feel not to be able to experience all of these 'fan thingy'. If I am one of them, I would feel so so small. Huhuhu...

 

Okay, I'm being emotional a bit. But this new fandom culture really made me think hard. I just want to enjoy their music, without stress, without competing. I guess I am really becoming an ahjumma.. (-_-)