Personal struggle

On some of my cold winter nights in Japan, I would just laid on my bed, thinking of the things that I have achieved so far, in my career and personal life. I think I have achieved quite a lot, though to other people it might seems small. And I am humbly admitting that I've lost a lot too.

There's too many to list out, but the most painful is that I have lost my old self. The one who used to have the will power to say NO to syaitan's whispers. I felt so helpless now. Every time I've sinned, I beg Allah for His forgiveness, but I didn't made an effort to change. I'm seeing people around me becoming better Muslims, which I really envy! They took a longer path than me, but I've failed to stay istiqamah (persistent) on that path. Why do I struggle so much?

 I want to run to ME again, to my 14 years-old self, whom once bravely told the choir teacher that she'll keep her headscarf on, no matter how awkward the choir team might look because of her.

It's cloudy here, in my heart. I'm scared it will turned to black. I want it to be white again, like the precious winter snow.

Japan Life : Winter Holiday in Japan 2014

This is my last winter holiday in Japan. I went travelling all around Japan with a friend from Malaysia. I had to brave the cold, the wicked snow, the high fever and non stopped runny nose for 1 whole week. I can say it was the worst holiday ever for me. There's not much of my photos because I looked half dead. Japan was a bit gloomy and snowy but beautiful, as always.



ODAIBA DRIVE CITY, TOKYO.



GUNDAM ROBOT

HAKONE.

 






BIWAKO VALLEY ROPEWAY



BIWAKO VALLEY SKI PARK





HARRY POTTER WORLD, USJ.








HARRY POTTER WORLD, USJ.




Snowy morning view from 88HIROSHIMA HOUSE.





PEACE MEMORIAL PARK, HIROSHIMA.




TOKYO SKY TREE




TOKYO SKY TREE VIEW

TAKESHITA SHOPPING STREET




OMOTESANDO HILLS SHOPPING STREET, TOKYO.






SHIBUYA CROSSINGS








AKIHABARA ELECTRONIC CITY



2014: BIGBANG JAPAN DOME TOUR X in OSAKA DOME D4

JAPAN DOME TOUR X!! So I finally went to their last day concert yesterday (141123). Initially I didn't really planned to go coz they don't have a new album yet, but so it happened that my JVIP friends have some extra ticket and they offered it to me. Pure luck. Kkkk. \(^_^)/ \(^_^)/

 

Phewww...It's been a long time!! (err..months actually). Wow...My body ached so much and I couldn't wake up this morning! I don't think I can endure a 3-hours standing and jumping to their songs anymore..ahjumma, keman juseyo!! (stop already aunty...) (-_-)(-_-)
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Takoyaki stall near Kyocera Dome. Spot the Bigbang's previous JDT at the back ^b^!

Here's my rough fan account. So many moments, but my memory failed me. Must be due to the band music was way tooooo loud! I couldn't think right. (-_-)

 

 

 

 

 

Update:

This might be my last Bigbang's concert in Japan. I'm still looking for tickets for JDT-X in Tokyo Dome on the 27-Dec, but it's already sold out like freaking SOLD-OUT!! Huhuhu..Oh well. It's been a wonderful experience, this past 2 years in Japan. I think it's gonna be fine.

 

Lately I find it really hard to keep on being a VIP. I see on twitter everyday VIP nowadays really like to compete with who took the best concert picture, who tweet the best fan account, the received most fan service, who purchased the most merchandize, and oh the Bigbang's junior fanwar (cough-winner-cough-iKon-cough-BOBBY-cough). I'm like, demm do we have to compete in everything even though we like the same thing/person??? It's freaking crazy! It takes away the joy of being a normal VIP like the good old time. The VIP who's always broke, who always shares link to free download mp3/concert DVD, the VIP who buys 2nd hand but timeless BB merchandize, yes that kind of VIP. I really missed those days where we share everything, not buy everything! Come on, think of it! It's a freaking money-consuming hobby ever! Their concert ticket itself is ridiculously more expensive than other Japan artist, their merchandize changes with every concert, you always have to buy something to get something (rehearsal pass, send-off pass, fan meeting, etc..). Let's not start with their  solo activities..OMG...   

 

I too, indulged in their concerts in Japan but not their merchandize. Well, I'm a working adult but how the hell did those young VIP could afford to go to every Bigbang concert all around the world?? And their merchandize. OMG. It's really expensive guys! Not to forget events like MAMA, GDA, well anything related to Bigbang. Imagine VIP who comes from not so well-off family, or a young adult struggling to make a living would feel not to be able to experience all of these 'fan thingy'. If I am one of them, I would feel so so small. Huhuhu...

 

Okay, I'm being emotional a bit. But this new fandom culture really made me think hard. I just want to enjoy their music, without stress, without competing. I guess I am really becoming an ahjumma.. (-_-)